62 Sleeps or 9 weeks from today and I will be a pilgrim.
I was asked yesterday “how long until you leave?” Without a pause I said “63 sleeps. But I am not really counting.” An acquaintance of mine used that terminology in a Camino forum posting that very morning. So I counted.
Wait, what? Only 63 nights away? I knew it was 9 weeks until my flight, but 9 weeks felt much different and farther away than 63 sleeps. When I said it out loud yesterday I got really excited. Cheeks warm, pit in my stomach excited.
I keep thinking/saying what makes me nervous is that I am not really nervous about the daunting task before me. But one should be, right? My counselor in college said to me once “Don’t should one me and I won’t should on you.” In essence, let go of the the ideas and expectations based on obligation or perceived correctness, and make decisions on what is present.
So here I sit, 62 sleeps to go, and this is what I know to be true/present:
1. I feel excited about this opportunity and adventure.
2. I work hard to stay focused at work – we have big things to accomplish in the next 9 week and it is important to me that we succeed.
3. I am trying hard not to focus too much on the details of equipment and the physical items I will carry with me. It is really easy to get side-tracked! That being said, I need to make a major change with my backpack. I am undecided.
4. I am really not afraid or scared. I have faith in myself. BUT this is going to be very hard and I know I will want to quit at some point – I am ready for the tears and struggle.
5. I am trying to find the balance of not focusing too much on my heath issues, but trying to prepare myself to make good decisions. The recent Celiacs diagnosis along with the rest might be harder than I think.
6. I am ready to be proud of myself when I finish. I need to show myself I can do this.
7. In the quiet moments I am really emotional about how many people have shown their interest and support for me. I have always felt loved, but this is touching in a way I can’t describe. Aside from tears. Especially Chris.
8. I m not too focused on my weight, but when I consider the fact that I will carry any extra pounds 500 miles…it changes my perspective. I want to slim down a bit. I have already shed 16 lbs . I would like to let go of more before I leave.
9. My goal is to workout daily – some form of walking, weight training, treadmill etc. I will have to walk 25 km per day. 30 minutes to a hour a day will seem like a warm up. We’ll see…
10. This really is #thegoodlife My love, my cats, my friends, my job, my health and health care access. Life is good.
Buen Camino friends!
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